The Lot of the Geeks at Christmas

Well my fellow geeks – are you ready for Christmas?

No, I ‘m not refering to your shopping and cooking lists or even if you’ve wrapped everything – I’m talking about your mental preperation.
Yes, it’s the time of year where most of you will be “going home” to your beloved but perhaps not-as-tech-savy-as-you families.
You KNOW what that means don’t you? Oooh yes, time to become the 24-7 100% tech-support go-to guy or gal once moce.
Time for a deep breath.
You know the scene, Uncle Fred has bought little Sabastian the latest electronic do-hicky with bells, whistls, spinny bit and of course the requisit annoying electronic beep, and the only person in the house that will have an electronic screwdriver small enough to open the battery hatch is you – so that’s chrismtas morning 6am to 6:25am dealt with.
Then your mother wont be able to open the plastic packageing for her new suduko machine that father bought her after consulting you last week on your mobile – in the middle of a meeting with the seniour management at work, who also all had to break off to have similar convisations with their own elderly family members.
This also needs batteries inserted behind a little door held on with a little small screw. Which you have trouble dealing with as by this time you’ve cut your own finger on the evil-plastic-attack packaging.
Aunt Mable is now blaming you – and the sole representitive of the ‘technical’ industry for the annoying sounds coming from little Sabastian’s electronic do-hicky – a tirade that will only get worse as the sherry supply depleats.
9am and the phone goes, nephew 1 has got a tamagotchi for christmas – yes they still exist – and he can’t work out how to feed it. Luckily as a child of the 80s/90s you manage to tech-support this over the phone.
Time for a quck cuppa before dashing off to church, surely there wont be any technology to get in the way of some good solid carol singing? Ha!
On the way out the vicar shakes your hand and mentions that the church’s website needs some TLC and gosh darnnit isn’t that something you could perhaps help with in the new year?
Back home and you’ve bearly pulled off your new christmas gloves with the pom-poms on that great aunt florrance sent you before mother thrusts you the brand you oven timer and asks you to set it for 40 mins rather than 40 seconds.
And so it goes on…
But my dear breathren-in-tech, don’t dispare, take heart – as the sole techie you will get to play with everyone’s brand new technology over the Christmas period – and if that doesn’t colsole you, at least you know you’ll have a few days break before the family go out and buy things in the january sales!
Don’t roll your eyes at your less-able relations dear geek, be patient with them – to them all these things with buttons are a dark art and to them you apear as a worlock of great power, being able to command them to do your will… apart from getting that new toy of sabastian’s to shut up. That is a feat that’s even beyond you.
Merry Christmas one and all
Love Amy xxx

No, I ‘m not refering to your shopping and cooking lists or even if you’ve wrapped everything – I’m talking about your mental preperation.

Yes, it’s the time of year where most of you will be “going home” to your beloved but perhaps not-as-tech-savy-as-you families.

You KNOW what that means don’t you? Oooh yes, time to become the 24-7 100% tech-support go-to guy or gal once moce.

Time for a deep breath. You can do this.

You know the scene, Christmas Morning. Uncle Fred has bought little Sabastian the latest electronic do-hicky with bells, whistls, spinny bit and of course the requisit annoying electronic beep, and the only person in the house that will have an electronic screwdriver small enough to open the battery hatch is you – so that’s Christmas morning 6am to 6:25am dealt with.

Then your mother wont be able to open the plastic packageing for her new suduko machine that father bought her after consulting you last week on your mobile – in the middle of a meeting with the development team at work, who also all had to break off to have similar convisations with their own elderly family members.

This also needs batteries inserted behind a little door held on with a little small screw. Which you have trouble dealing with as by this time you’ve cut your own finger on the evil-plastic-attack packaging.

Home

Aunt Mable is now blaming you – and the sole representative of the ‘technical’ industry for the annoying sounds coming from little Sebastian’s electronic do-hicky – a tirade that will only get worse as the sherry supply depleats.

9am and the phone goes, nephew 1 has got a tamagotchi for christmas – yes they still exist – and he can’t work out how to feed it. Luckily as a child of the 80s/90s you manage to tech-support this over the phone for a device you’ve never seen or used. You are just THAT good.

Time for a quck cuppa before dashing off to church, surely there wont be any technology to get in the way of some good solid carol singing? Ha!

On the way out the vicar shakes your hand and mentions that the church’s website needs some TLC and gosh darnnit isn’t that something you could perhaps help with in the new year?

Back home and you’ve bearly pulled off your new Christmas gloves with the pom-poms on that Great Aunt Florrance sent once again this year you before mother thrusts you the brand you oven timer and asks you to set it for 40 mins rather than 40 seconds.

And so it goes on…

But my dear breathren-in-tech, don’t dispare, take heart – as the sole techie you will get to play with everyone’s brand new technology over the Christmas period – and if that doesn’t console you, at least you know you’ll have a few days break before the family goes out and buys the latest gadgets in the January sales and calls you to set them up!

Don’t roll your eyes at your less-able relations dear geek, be patient with them – to them all these things with buttons are a dark art and to them you apear as a worlock of great power, being able to command them to do your will… apart from getting that new toy of Sabastian’s to shut up. That is a feat that’s even beyond you.

Merry Christmas one and all

Love Amy xxx

BC Christmas Do

7 thoughts on “The Lot of the Geeks at Christmas

  1. I’m going to be spending Christmas installing Windows 7 on all the computers at home. The thinking is that I will spend just a day doing that, and it will save me hours many times in the future trying to support a mix of Windows XP and various Vista configurations. Of course the obscure hardware is probably going to get the better of me.

  2. If I go a full week at home without fixing something or installing something or defrosting something – it’s not Christmas!
    I think I’m lined up for RAM installation this year, plus a new TV needs cabling up. I couldn’t be happier! 🙂

  3. Take a sub-miniature switch, needle nose pliers, wire cutters and stripper, with optional gas powered soldering iron (and solder). Perform relatively simple surgery on the wires to the speaker to install instant aged-relative pleasing quietness to any sprogs electronic doo-hickey. If you are feeling kinder, you can stick a variable potentiometer in instead, giving a volume control. Almost all toys I have come across have space for the spare part needed to improve almost everyone’s life 😉

  4. We’re a family of techies, so I’m afraid it’s my brother (the IBM hardware support engineer) who gets all the screwdriver related jobs, while I pick up the software problems. My dad is technical engouh to fix his own Windows problems, my wife knows the +ve end of a battery when she sees one and even my mum can manage to fill her car with fuel on her own. It’s not so bad really. 🙂

  5. Mwahaha the advantages of being a non-tech geek are becoming apparent! No one ever asks me to explain the workings of washing-up liquid or what the density of water is (although apparently I’m pretty good at pouring things accurately).

  6. I might not be quite up to your level of Geek credentials, but I already know my Mum has bought my Grandparents a new TV… I’ll be writing the adapted guide to the remote control complete with cartoon diagrammes!

    Oh, and a full two days in the village the Internet forgot! Help!

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